Full of Fire
“We are full of fire and we are free to let it burn brightly.”
There once was a girl who felt broken. She felt sad, and alone, and unloved. She lived in fear and regret and didn’t dare be herself. She would shrink down to the form she thought would be most palatable for others. She stayed quiet and said very little, for fear of saying the wrong thing.
She was wild inside. Her mind was a safe place for her muchness. It was an overflowing bathtub of wonder, floating through a stormy sea. Her sail made from bedsheets. She built skyscrapers with her thoughts, and entire kingdoms of creatures and ideas and life flowed from within her being.
When she tried to sleep the alone felt scary. The darkness was creeping with the unknown. One scary thought would lead to another until the worries piled up to the ceiling, and the whole room felt unbearable. The pressure made it too hard to fall asleep, so she lay there, alone in the dark, thinking she was broken.
When the morning returned she used her hands. She used brushes, pens, paints, markers, paper, fabric, canvas; whatever she could find to make things. Making something that didn’t exist before felt purposeful. It was a way to channel those big ideas.
When the night fell again, so did the sadness. Why am I so broken? Will I ever be good enough. Will I ever be loved? Am I doomed to be misunderstood for all time?
Everyone feels broken in one way or another. It’s when we realize we are not alone in our struggles that we can know we are not alone in the world. Every single thing in you that makes you feel broken, someone else has also experienced. Share your story with those who are worthy to hear it. You will find you were never alone, because the hard things that we don’t want to talk about, are what really connects us.
Sweet child, it’s all a lie. You were never broken. You are unbreakable. Beauty in motion. You’re here and you are loved. If you’re too much for some people, those aren’t your people. Don’t hide yourself away from the world. Don’t shrink, share. We need your muchness. We need your beautiful spirit and your incredible mind. This world is better because you’re a part of it.
It’s ok not to have it all figured out. It’s ok to flounder. It’s ok to try something new and be terrible. Keep trying and keep living. Don’t buy into the lies. You are not broken. You are whole and you are fully equipped to live this life.
Even as I write this, I feel like, well that’s kind of intense. Am I being too dramatic? What will people think when they read this? Maybe I should pull back some, and only share part of this… I can piece it together to be encouraging, but more palatable… but that’s part of the lie. We are full of fire and we are free to let it burn brightly. I am not broken, and neither are you. We don’t need to pull back, we need to push forward.
In an effort to foster a creatives community I’ve started a Facebook group called Art is a Record Creatives Community, the same name as this blog. I would love for you to join in the fun as we discuss creative living, projects, art, and life.
